Hello First Responders: Welcome to a new on line edition for Winter Spring.

"Suicide Death of a firefighterveteran"

What follows is a letter that has been travelling with me for over ten years. It was sent to all members of the Calgary Fire Department, Calgary Alberta Canada. It speaks for itself. It is important for all to understand is that this could be any one of us, at any time in our careers in fire fighting, law enforcement or emergency medical first responder work on the front line. The hard copy remains a cherished part of N.A.F.F.V.N. records and is available as a fax copy to anyone who would want to examine the original letter with the signature block. "F.I.R.S.T. S.T.E.P. H.O.P.E." This man gave up and gave in.........

Also of note:

The Tema Conter Educational Conference on Acute and Post Traumatic Stress in Toronto Ontario Canada is to be held on 08th February 2008. I will be attending this conference along with volunteer fire fighter Lt. Cam Clausen of North Oyster Vol. Fire Department, M.D. North Cowichan, Vancouver Island British Columbia Canada. We will be on an Emergency Services Panel Qustions and Answers Session with those who have front line experience with P.T.S.D. This consists of Police Constable Randy Martin, York Regional Police, myself representing N.A.F.F.V.N. firefighterveterans, and David Whitley, ACP of York Region Emergency Medical Services. N.A.F.F.V.N. will be publishing some of the conference educational highlights and if we can get the tech support in place add the audio tape to our library which is available to any service organization or individual on request. Information available at www.tema.ca or telephone 1-888-288-8036 to register for your attendance.

In the meantime: here is the letter supplied and placed on this web site as a

"Public Service Safety Message" for All First Responders



February 13, 1997

Captain John Klaver
Edmonton Emergency Response Division
(403) 983-3326


To: Fire Chief Ross and Members
Calgary Fire Department

Tuesday and Wednesday of this week we paid our final respects to Rod Spycher, beloved son, father, friend and brother firefighter.

The respect shown for Rod by his brother firefighters will always offer us a small measure of comfort.

Rod was a firefighters firefighter with an infectious sense of humor, a zest for living, and always willing to help others with his favored projects: the Hozers Hockey Team, The Burn Treatment Society, Stars or any other worthwhile function. Rod enriched the lives of the people he touched. His love for his work and fellow firefighters is probably best summed up with his favorite saying. "I'm going to work for two picnics and two sleepovers".

Over the past few days the recurring question on everyones lips was, Why?

Whenever we as firefighters have a major accident we normally have a critique so that we will be able to learn from our experiences and profit from that experience. Rod's premature death (by suicide) and others before it, have always been quietly, and often shamefully pushed into the recesses of our minds as we, the most Macho men on earth, quietly attend to helping others and not dealing with our own problems.

Yes, Rod had problems which in the end were for him, insurmountable. Yes, Rod was severely depressed. Why didn't we see his depression? Mainly because we don't recognize the symptoms and our Macho Image throws us into a state of denial. I am presently returning to work after a two month absence during which I was treated for severe depression.

I wish I would have been able to see Rod to share my symptoms and experiences and recovery, but I can share them with you on Rod's behalf that asks you to examine yourself and your brothers, so that Rod's death not be in vain and that this provides a lasting legacy on Rod's behalf.

Firstly, depression is not a mental illness, it is a medical condition easily treatable by professionals using anti-depressants and counselling.

I can best try to describe depression in my own words.

It's like being lost in a smoke filled room, groping , your bell ringing, anxiety rising. Unable to find a viable exit. You need help but that Machoness renders you unable to call for help even though it is readily available. I've listed below signs and symptoms:

-Feelings of sadness or irritability
-Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
-Changes in weight or appetite
-Changes in sleeping patterns
-Feeling of guilt, hopelessness or worthlessness
-Fatigue or loss of energy
-Restlessness or decreased activity noted by others
-Complaints of physical aches or pains for which no medical causes can be found
-Thoughts of suicide or death

-ALSO NOTE that people turn to self medicating with alcohol and other drugs to mask or suppress their uncomfortable emotions.

If you recognize any of the above in yourself or others, open up to someone, or try to talk to the person. Help is readily available from a friend, your family doctor, the city psychologist, your pastor or your local walk-in clinic. I urge you to run, not walk for help. It's really a beautiful world without depression.

Yes I am my brothers keeper. Captain Gary Warren and myself were instrumental in seducing Rod into our lifestyle. His acceptance to the Calgary fire department coming two weeks before his acceptance by Edmonton.

Richer for having known Rod, we are all poorer by his loss, let it not be in vain.

For Rod

John Klaver

c.c. Chief Sharburne
and E.R.D. Members


N.A.F.F.V.N. final observation on this letter:

In the writing and reading for this newsletter I experienced the full range of emotions on Rod's loss. I worked with him daily as a fire fighter on the front lines and then completed the funeral preparatations and gave Honors Flag Fold over his casket as a member of the C.F.D. Honor Guard that assisted in saying good-bye.

I continue to be critically aware of the losses on our First Responder Front Lines due to suicide.

N.A.F.F.V.N. project "care for the care givers" on the internet and "F.I.R.S.T. S.T.E.P. H.O.P.E." continue to add a measure of "resiliency against suicide" and the losses. We will continue to suffer from suicide .....there is a way out of that dark smoke filled room of emotions and feelings.

Get help from "trained clinicians and professionals" who are there just as we are for others.....

.......it only makes good common "bell ringing sense".....get connected, stay connected....get help.

Stay safe in the service

Shannon H. Pennington B.C.S.M. A.A.E.T.S.
Senior Chief (Administrative)
North American Fire Fighter Veterans Network